Amusing Expressions

Have you ever really sat down and thought about what it is you were actually saying when you use an expression? For example, To kill two birds with one stone. Poor birds. That must have been one hell of a stone... or a really good shot. And if it's all Greek to you, what is it to the Greeks?  And whats so different about apples and oranges, they're both fruit. 

We'll we decided that it didn't matter, and that these 15 amusing but hardly used sayings were more entertaining. 

1. Silence is golden... duck tape is silver.

2. In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

3. If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

4. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

5. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

7. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

8. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

9. I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

11. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

12. Ageing: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

14. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

15. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen

Fifteen.


Recognition goes to http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110922104255AAasvul for their genius.